
Discover "The Clarinet on the Glacier"
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What Sort of Book is it ?
Warning: the following discusses the overall nature of, "The Clarinet on the Glacier" and what you can expect from reading it. It does not give away much of what actually takes place. However, if you would like to read the book without any advance warning, you should leave this page now.
It's easier to describe what, "The Clarinet on the Glacier" isn't rather than what it is. There's almost no sex or violence although the humour can be lowbrow at times. Although a few crimes are committed, they amount mainly to import tax evasion, paragliding without a permit and evading arrest. Nobody gets murdered and it's patently obvious who did it, so there's not much competition for Agatha Christie in the realms of detective stories. The date of the story is not stated explicitly but there are references to Brexit being in the past, to Daniel Craig playing James Bond, and to fans of Taylor Swift (whether these are complementary or not, you'll have to get hold of the book to find out). So it's a bit too recent to be historical fiction.
The starting point for the book itself was actually the Swiss Alps, more specifically hiking within them. I make no secret of a fondness for the Alps in summertime and wanted to put together a story which would take place there. That led to a consideration of why somebody would need to be in the Alps. Just because you like to hike is a good enough idea in practice, and indeed it works for Jessica, but you need something a bit more exciting for a decent story. Hence the idea of something very valuable being lost. This became the clarinet, which was helpful in determining that Harris should be a professional music teacher. The rest of the initial storyline worked back from there. He acquired the clarinet to make his marriage work. It got lost in an accident. However, they only have five days to recover it - why ? This took a bit of thought but I arrived at the idea of Harris having a terrible accident which was all his fault though unintended. All this meant that he needed to become the intelligent idiot of the expedition while Jessica would be the slightly rougher one who could find a solution to most things.

​​The subsequent action sequences and the lengthy escape from the heart of Switzerland back to Britain were based on my own experiences of walking in the Alps, coupled with some of the stupider things which actually happened to me and (as you may be relieved to know, considering what Jessica, Harris and Alice manage to do) some which are purely ambition or imagination. To take a couple of examples, the escape up the Simmental valley is drawn from actual hiking experience (not the bit with the police car but the bit where they're walking). The scene where Harris and Alice round a corner in the woods to find a guy relieving himself with his undercarriage on very full display also comes from a more memorable (for the wrong reasons) moment halfway up the Diemtigtal valley. Conversely, I have never actually been paragliding although I would very much like to do. Legally, I should point out, but otherwise not dissimilar to the flight where Harris learns the art. Nor have I ever tried crashing on water-skies or charming a cobra on a train but I have less desire to try those ones. To each their own.
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All of this provided the basis for a story. The style was easy enough to work out as well. I liked the idea of writing from the perspective of one of two narrators - Jessica or Harris. Putting the story in real time in the present made it easier to describe the Alpine scenery as they would be actually experiencing it. This should make it more vivid but it also allowed for a reasonably sarcastic commentary. That much would be easy enough to write and so Jessica was given a style not dissimilar to how I speak myself. I offset this by having Harris take a more educated but pompous tone.
The strange thing about writing as either Jessica or Harris was that despite their faults, they actually became kind of hard to dislike. I also wanted to add a feel-good vibe to the story. Without going overboard, the two characters both come to appreciate where their faults are and where the other's more positive sides are. This becomes borderline dangerous in the case of Harris, who gains increased confidence in his own abilities but without any obvious increase in common sense. He nearly kills them all in a near crash between the paragliders and the incident with the cobra is as much his fault as anyone's thanks to his rank incompetence. Nonetheless, he does come out of the story as stronger character. Jessica, in fact, starts to question her own worth on a handful of occasions but the negative feelings are overcome when Harris points out to her at the end, "You have one outstanding quality, of which I think you should be justly proud. You never give up."
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Don't worry if this is making you wonder if the whole thing is just a bit too touchy-feely and lacking in visceral comedy moments. To reassure you, a little while before, Harris puts down Jessica's style by asking, "What would Isabel (his fiancée) say if I expressed myself in a stream of similes largely concerned with bodily fluids, pure idiocy and acts of sexual perversion ?" Not everything is about how sensations of kindness make you feel spiritually warm.
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So overall, the book is about combining the beauty of the Alps with a challenging but positive experience, and some healthily disrespectful characters, throwing in an odd combination of sarcasm and sympathy, and mixing it with just a hint of daftness to come up with something which should do a few things. It should make the reader feel good, laugh a bit, consider what it would be like to be somebody different, and consider that a trip to Alpine Switzerland might be a fantastic idea. I would consider applying for a grant to the Swiss tourist board but they'd likely take exception to Jessica's mouthy and disparaging comments about Interlaken. But if you enjoy the book, that's great.